Monday, October 31, 2011

Resenting Halloween

I never thought I would dislike Halloween. Not that I do really either, just that I'm so very glad it's over! Next year I plan on cancelling the party, especially if I'm working on a book which is highly possible, knowing me. So long story short this year Halloween pulled me away from my book and I resented it. Usually I watch a million scary movies and love the holiday LOVE it. But this year, I was more concerned with it being over so I could go back to normal life.

I must love my book. I haven't written anything in a week and I miss it. I miss my world, I miss my characters, and I hate my Halloween decorations. If I'd said that last year, my honey would have taken me to the emergency room for fear I'd gone mad or was suffereing from a brain tumor. I love Halloween...........usually. This year not so much. So I'll probably leave up some decorations because I'm too lazy to take them all down, and part of me just doesn't care anymore. Tomorrow the sales on Halloween gear start, and I can't even make myself care. Last year I made my mom buy me the Butler that stands in my entry way as a early christmas present, this year, I don't care. I don't want anything. I wish I felt the spirit but I'd just rather write.

So tonight I'll take the kids trick-or-treating and tomorrow, I'll open The Wild Hunt file and rejoice. God I hope thanksgiving and Christmas don't interfer with my writing, I think I'll down scale everything because of how Halloween made me feel. I don't want to end up resenting Christmas. Hating Halloween is one thing, but hating Christmas is just wrong.

So Happy Halloween everyone!! I hope you enjoy it more than I did.

Here's a new artist (new to me) that I love!!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Halloween Party Planner or Ultimate Procrastinator?

I hate excuses just like anybody, but this month has taken a huge toll on my writing. In the entire month I have only written one Chapter and started on a new one. It's Bad. It's horrible, but I have my reasons. This month is Halloween, and with this month comes all the responsibilities that fall on me before our annual Costume Party. Sadly the honey is working thirteen hour days so I'm on my own. Not only am I balancing the decorations, the boys schedules, and helping with my grandmother, I'm also "supposed" to be finishing my novel.

Am I just procrastinating?

It's possible. I don't want to think that's what I'm doing but I might. Next month will be easier I keep telling myself. But next month is Ethan's birthday, and then Thanksgiving. Then December, the month I wanted to have it finished, will be here, and so is Christmas. Am I crazy for trying to hit this deadline this time of year?? I'm starting to think I am. Seriously <-----------nut job.

Aside from my lack of working I love everything about October. I read Carrie this month, and I fell in love with it all over again. I've been watching scary movies, and eating out with family, and just being a bum. A thousand words every other day is crap though, and eventually I'm going to have to crack down on my procrastinating. If I were working for a publisher, and not just myself, a deadline is a deadline. So keeping that in mind, I'm pushing out the date for the book to sometime in the beginning of 2012. Hopefully I'll get it done before then, but life, as we know it catches up with us sometimes. I'm going to go crawl in the corner and cry now, lick my wounds, and hopefully regain my dignity.

I still haven't heard back from  my uncle or my cousin, one was sent my prologue while the other took off with my hard copy of half my book. (inner whimper) I did however get some feedback from an outside source, a writer-friend of sorts that I met on Goodreads. His feedback was very helpful, he was even able to point out some problem area's in a very gracious way. It has helped me immensely but I'm still being a bad little procrastinator. Bad Me, bad me, bad me.

Alright I'll stop my whining, I can only blame myself, and not a stupid Halloween party. So bad Ashley is going to unplug for a bit, an hopefully get this G*d Damn Book done already. I'm actually looking forward to it. I think it's killing me. How and the hell am I ever going to write ten more of these? Deep breath, I love my life, I love to write, I'm not throwing it into the BBQ, I'm not going to lite the match, I'm not going to do a dance on top of the flames and cry like a baby, no I'm going to hold my head high, grow up, and get to fucking work!!!!

There, that's better, now

Thursday, October 13, 2011

When life happens.....

There are days where the writing comes out faster than I can keep up with it. When my fingers are sore and stiff after hours of pressing against the keyboard. If only writing for me were always like that.

Sometimes my inspiration disappears. During which I stare at the computer screen hoping, praying that the words will come. The more I try to make it happen, the harder it is to let the words flow. It's a horrible cycle, the more I press on the more pressure I put on myself the higher the wall gets until I'm staring at the same sentence I wrote four days ago, wondering where it all went wrong. I'd like to think that as a self-proclaimed writer I have more intuition into the inner workings of my world, and what works and what doesn't. But sadly I'm just as clues less about the process as I was two years ago, or six years ago when I first started taking my want to write seriously.

That intuition is a funny thing though, and lately I've been feeling like its been screaming out at me and I was too stupid to listen. When I get stuck, when I get truly backed into a corner, it's because something is off. Something is wrong. It could be something as simple as deleting a scene, or re-writing it. But some inner voice won't let me move forward until it's right. What drives me crazy is the fact that some writers, (the far more gifted like Stephen King) can sit down and write everyday. They have hours they put in, they put down the words, and then they're done for the day. They write the whole novel then go back and edit.

I can't do that.

I can't move forward unless it's right.

I wish to God I could turn off that little inner voice because it's becoming a major pain in the ass. It will not let me move forward or shut up until the piece that was jacked up is fixed. I hate it. I despise it. But should I change it?

Is my way wrong while everyone else's is right. Or is no way any better than the other. I'd like to think that doing it all planned out and proper is great, but for some reason it's not for me. It makes me think of that saying that life happens while you're busy making plans. Maybe writing for me, is what happens when the timing and the pieces are right, not when I force them. So maybe that means I won't put out a book as often as I want to..........sigh. Maybe I'll be that annoying writer that takes three years to finish one novel. I can't change my inner voice. And sometimes I don't even want to.

That inner voice paid off recently. I was stuck, which is common, and I kept staring at that same paragraph until it hit me. I didn't need that stupid paragraph anyways. So I deleted and bam, inspiration was back and my fingers were clicking. I now have a love-hate relationship with my inner voice, and maybe as time goes by I'll figure the bitch out, and not have anymore little hissy fits or fights with her. Here's to hoping!

Friday, October 7, 2011

F**king profanity.................and sex scene's in writing

Most of the time I feel like this baby writer, this tiny ridiculous thing that knows nothing about how to get published, how to self publish or promote, what not to do, what to do well, onward etc, whine, barf, whine.

I guess the question now is, where to draw the line. Since The Wild Hunt is a book that is more adult than young, I stopped holding back the fucking, the shit, the assholes and bastards, I let my bad sailor mouth go. My mother will be horrified and probably impressed at the same time, she is the one who says most of the dirty words I know, sorry mom, you know you're a potty mouth too!

Anyways back to the point, I'm sure I've over cussed in The Wild Hunt, I know I have, I cuss too much in real life, and because Lo (my protagonist) is a little bit of me, of course she inherited her mommy's bad mouth, (Sound familiar? ha ha sorry mom I did it again!) So the question is, how much is too much in an adult paranormal fiction/romance/fantasy/actiony/horror/////// geez you get the picture. What is too much?

Is it even possible to over cuss in an adult fiction? I don't want 13 year old kids to read my book hence the reason it's an adult and not a YA. 13 year olds shouldn't read my book. It's got too much of everything, too much death, sex, smut, and fucked up shit. Yes I'm probably over cussing now because I'm thinking about it. But I don't think I can cut out any cuss words, I love when Lo calls herself an asshole, because sometimes she is an asshole.

Another thing that has popped up, because I know my genre (twenty to fifty something woman who like reading a great sex scene)  I'm wondering how much I should elude to and how much I should leave out. I don't have any restrictions in my genre, other than not to actually say penis or vagina, no using the real words sucks all the fun out of the equation. I don't want to write too much sex, I'm not sure why, maybe it's some strange sense of wanting to stay true to the story and not sale out just to sale more books. It doesn't feel necessary to the story. And I have the opportunity to write in some steamy sex, but again I'm left wondering why I don't.

So I'm a baby writer who is willing to cuss up a fucking storm, but not willing to write some gratuitous steamy over the top toe curling sex.


Who knows, I'm no prude (yes a little more me in Lo, although I never slept around to forget or be numb, I just never restricted myself from ever doing anything I really wanted, which I'm sure is common with females my age. The days where people wait until marriage are all but gone (some people do but it's uncommon), in this day and age you can have as much, or as little sex as you want, just double wrap it to be safe!) anyways again I'm going on and on, what was my point again..........................shit, oh yea why am I okay with profanity in my story, and not steamy sex?

I can't help but wonder, granted because the story isn't finished maybe that means some steamy toe curling sex can still make it's way in..................but it's not a staple, the story is. So you'll find lots of cuss words, some heavy petting but no ridiculous throbbing member, heaving breast's or any such other strange and cliche descriptions. Here's to hoping the profanity and lack of steam doesn't drive away the readers...........fingers crossed.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

All Time Favorite Films to Watch on Halloween

 #1 The Hills Have Eyes

Shocking I know but it is a great film. I love the turn around when the lead protagonist kills them all. It's awesome. This movie also has the BEST scene where a loyal dog helps his master kick some ass!!

#2 Sleepy Hollow

It's not your traditional scary movie, but I love it. Not only is it an adaption to an awesome book, it's got Johnny Deep, need I say more!

#3 Hellraiser

Clive Barker! It's a classic, it can still hold its own in this generation of CG. I mean come on the scene in the attic when Frank the monster is regenerating, it still looks great even after all these years!

#4 Alien

Alien, one word, that's all I need to say!

#5 The Thing

Alien form that can take over your friends! AWESOME!

#6 Night of the Living Dead


#7 The Orphanage

Probably the only scary movie to ever make me cry.

#8 Nightmare on Elm Street

The ORIGINAL. Not that new piece of shit that will never ever live up to the original Freddy Kruger.

#9 Carrie

Stephen King's first novel.

#10 Children of the Corn

Scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.

Guest Choice (the honey suggested it)

City of the Living Dead

I have to admit I love zombies, and the quote on the front sounds promising. He says that this is the scariest thing he saw as a kid. So check it out, I'm adding it to our own Blockbuster queve.

Fangoria Frightfest!!

Over the last few weeks me and the honey have started to watch all of the Fangoria Frightfest movies. So far we've seen:

The Tomb: Which I thought was terrible, even though it was and H.P. Lovecraft, I don't think it did the story justice.

Dark House: Not as bad as I thought.

Grimm Love: Very disturbing, but interesting. I have a certain amount of curiousity when it comes to serial killers, although he only had one victim.

Fragile: Which is tied with Grimm Love in creepiness. Excellent ghost.

We have four more left to watch, that I'm not as interested in as I was the top four, but chances are they'll either be just as good (as the two I actually liked), or worst. I don't get the feeling these movies will be better. So next on the list:

Pig Hunt
Road Kill
The Haunting

The Haunting sounds okay. I loved the foreign film The Orphanage. It was one of few scary movies that made me cry. Like the 4th season finale of Dexter when Rita was murdered I cried like a baby at the end of this film. It was more than a scary movie, it was powerful. Wow I think I'm going to add it to the To Watch list this year of Halloween flicks. 

Monday, October 3, 2011


Not only is Fall my absolute favorite time of year, but every year on October 1st two things happen in my house.

1. I drag out every Halloween decoration I have, two large orange plastic bins, two or three large boxes, Jarvis (the butler guy who spouts Poe, I begged my mom to buy me last year as an early christmas present), and bags upon bags of new stuff I buy on sale at the end of the season each year.

2. I go to Spirit, Party City, the dollar store, etc. on the hunt for new stuff.

After I go through my treasures and find new ones, I decide that Halloween is the awesomest, and that I have a horrible, horrible obsession. Holy crap have I spent this much money and time on ONE holiday. Wow, just wow. I have no excuses. Also this year my youngest Ethan who is not yet three (next month) hated, absolutely hated all the loud, jumping out of shadows, light up decorations. I have decided that he must have been switched at birth despite his uncanny resemblance to his father (he's a mini me, no kidding) but how can my child, my son, one who has part of my genes, hate halloween. I'm saddened, LOL oh thats a horrifying word, but I am none the less. Here's my top picks for Halloween decorations this year. Also if you want to find cheaper alternatives, check out,, and any dollar store in your area, you can do a good job without spending much!

Graveyard Ghoul $69

Animated Zombie hand $16.99

Animated Zombie Prop $49.99

Tombstone Lifting Crypt $69.99

Clawing Zombie with Led eyes $29.99

Shaking Skeleton in Body Bag $25.00

Well I guess that's enough for now. I'm going to go to sleep now, 5:01 am, I know, no sleep is bad. Insomnia can be a bitch. Nite all!!! Happy Halloween.............well in 28 days anyway.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Side Project

Inspiration often strikes at the craziest moments, and often when you have no time. I already have at least three projects in the air, finishing The Wild Hunt, researching The Otherside, Lilith, and The Seven Deadly, all books that will eventually be out. The Otherside following The Wild Hunt, then Lilith, and The Seven not for a while, but because it is a series of seven books will take years to research.

Anyway my point is, with that many projects, I don't need more. But then, that moment falls, that bright little burst of inspiration, and now I have another project. Prequels, and not just one, two. TWO, like I have time for all of this....UGH. I guess I shouldn't complain that the muse is speaking, giving me more ideas than I have time to write, so my question is, when you do a prequel, what should you start with first.

My first idea for a prequel, is about the first kiss. The kiss that started it all, the one that drove Caleb to insanity, and changed Lo's life forever.

The second idea for a prequel is more like a 0.75. It's all about Duncan, and being a female, its the one I'm most excited to write. Duncan is swoon worthy, and writing his story after the kiss, the five years he roamed the country is definitely a fun idea.

So I guess I should probably follow sequence but part of me is ready to throw out the kiss prequel and just jump into the fun Duncan one. As a reader which do you prefer? I personally am having a hard time deciding. Knowing how girls went nuts for the Midnight Sun debacle, I'm more inclined to start Duncan's story, but I feel that the first kiss needs to be told. I didn't put it in The Wild Hunt because no matter how interesting, I already had TOO much back story, so as a prequel, or novella, it could be short and sweet, give a little peak into Lo's teenage years, and the describe Lo and Duncan's first meeting and shocking kiss.

Too much to write and so little time. I'm hoping that The Wild Hunt will be done by the end of the year, but if I keep adding on more projects who knows if that will happen. I'll play with the prequels concept, and put The Otherside, Lilith, and The Seven Deadly on the back burners, but I wish I had more hours in the day, didn't require sleep, food, bathing, etc. ugh how time flows away. Back to work!