Lilith Giveaway!!!

The giveaway for Lilith is almost over.


http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/45969-Lilith

Blocked

The last time I took a few months off I came back to writing refreshed. I wrote over 50,000 words and finished The Wild Hunt. This time around though, I'm afraid that that flash of inspiration is not here. Things are different, different house, car, grandma's gone. Life is always changing, does that mean as a writer I do as well?

I'm not sure what the answers are for me. I'm jumping in, but its scary, I've got to make this book better, more, and I want to do it in a fraction of the time. I think I should probably remove the restraints of deadlines and time tables, but it doesn't even ease the pressure a tiny bit. This has to be perfect it has to work.

Queue the insane pressure....

Now what? I'll open my notebooks and scribble down ideas, piece it together on paper and in my head and hope the block goes away, hope that inspiration strikes and I find my flow again. Words like water, my fingers the rocks it moves upon. Write damn it, all I need to do is write.

If only it were that easy.

Responsible

There aren't many things in this life that makes me worry what others think. I don't care about the latest fashions and what's popular on the radio....I buy what I like and listen to what pleases me. Mostly, if lots of people like something I tend not to like it for that reason alone. The radio in my car is always tuned to my iPod (Ben Howard). My mom has always said that I walk to the beat of my own drum. I am not a follower but a loner lost in a world of my own overactive mind.

So it may come as a surprise that I don't like letting people down. If I make a promise or agree to do something I try like hell to follow through. I'm not talking about trivial things like going for coffee or calling. I'm talking about things like babysitting, remodeling my moms house, being a better mother. I make promises to myself all the time, yell less listen more, breathe, count to three, watch the cussing. This post is strangely cuss free go figure. The point is something, maybe a childhood lesson in church, a big talk on integrity, a remembered class about morals and values, all of these things attack me when I don't follow through.

Right now I'm far behind a deadline (again) it may only be a personal one, but it is just as important as the ones I make to other people. So as my deadline gets further and further behind me, and my fingers continue to sit limp and unused at my sides I realize my outside promises are interfering with my inside ones. The goals I've set for myself as a person are falling aside to be trampled over by someone else's responsibility, by someone else's needs.

This bothers me for two reasons:

one: I am and will forever be a creature of habit and self reflection, I will always seek the comfort of my own inner voice above another persons. I am very okay with being alone (even though I'm not) its that whole loner thing. When my ID, or EGO or whatever the damn psychological name is isn't satisfied I sort of lash out verbally, I become a grump. My patience evaporates and I'm left very unhappy.

two: It was a promise or agreement that I made that was "supposed to" expire over three weeks ago. Said agreement isn't important, because in the end the choice is up to me, do I finish at the peril of my ID and writing, or do I cut my losses say sorry and move on. It isn't my responsibility as the allotted agreed time has exceeded exponentially. As a grown up I feel guilty, but as a writer and self employed one at that, I feel used. I feel taken advantage of.

So do I fall prey to my fear of being a flake or irresponsible, which responsibilities are more important, my job, paying or not, or free daycare for another person??

I don't want to judge or point fingers, but when is enough enough?

When can I say no and not feel guilty....probably never, but if I won't fight for me and my writing, no one will. I have to take a stand and say NO and own it.

NO!

My writing is just as important as your day job.

My writing is NOT just a hobby, it is my career, my savings grace, my passion in this life.

If I hear one more person tell me I don't have a real job (especially a mouthy five year old that doesn't belong to me) I will snap!!

I am a writer.

I am damn good at it too even if I occasionally suck (snark snark, no ones perfect.)

This is my job, and I need to be getting on with it. So goodbye other pervious agreed to persons problem, hello The Otherside, Scent Hound, Demon Unleashed, and whatever crazy ass projects I wanted to finish this year. Here's to publishing another book in 2013!

Broken Keys

I recently purchased a new fancy laptop, and while new said laptop is rather awesome, there is something about it that leaves me...sad.

No longer do I have to use the right shift key only because the left is broken.

No longer do I have to press down rubber stumps instead of keys.

Alas I have real computer keys pristine and unmarked by use...and yet I miss the broken laptop.

We went through a lot that computer and I...two books, a move, countless projects, and one unrecoverable loss.

Is it strange that I miss my old laptop as I write this, maybe, but knowing myself probably not.

I once cried for two hours when my youngest son broke a blue mason jar my recently departed grandma had given me. I've learned that lately I hate all changes that she isn't here to see. I hate the holidays she isn't present for, the crazy things my kids do that I can't talk to her about. I miss that safe haven I had knowing she was alive and well in the world. I miss my grandma, I miss her friendship and guidance, but most of all I miss her voice. I find myself playing it over and over again in the hopes that I won't forget.

All of this boils down to one thing....I hate change, even the good kind. Change is an all too painful reminder that life goes on after those we love have left it. Life goes on. I guess I should be getting on with mine.

Giveaway/Character Profiles

Goodreads is hosting a giveaway of Lilith: Part 1.

 

 

 

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/45969-Lilith

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lilith

 

 



 

 

1. Name: Lilith

  2. Age: ageless

  3. Hair: pale blonde

  4. Eyes: dark brown/black

  5. Build: curvaceous

  6. Height: 5'7

  7. Personality: evil, crazy, psycho

  8. Likes: games, descendants of Adam

  9. Dislikes: anything standing in her way

10. Music: a little bit of everything

11. Movies: Anything horror. dark comedies

12. Actress whom my character resembles:

13. Clothes: something revealing, sheer, expensive

14. Job: mother of monsters, wreaking havoc

15. Song: "Your Betrayal"-Bullet for my Valentine

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rhiannon

 

 



  1. Name: Rhiannon

  2. Age: 17

  3. Hair: dirty blonde

  4. Eyes: blue

  5. Build: athletic

  6. Height: 5'8

  7. Personality: brass, sarcastic,

  8. Likes: planning Lexie's annihilation

  9. Dislikes: Lexie

10. Music: rock, pop

11. Movies: comedies

12. Actress whom my character resembles:

13. Clothes: black, tough girl, anything from hot topics

14. Job: unemployed

15. Song: "Rosemary"-Deftones

 

 

Wes

 

 

 

  1. Name: Weston (Wes)

  2. Age: 19

  3. Hair: Brown

  4. Eyes: Brown

  5. Build: Athletic

  6. Height: 6'0

  7. Personality: jokester, funny, helpful,  

  8. Likes: Helping friends, Rhi, adventure, college

  9. Dislikes: idiots, bullies,

10. Music: rock, alternative

11. Movies: comedies, historical

12. Actress whom my character resembles:

13. Clothes: jeans, polo, DC's

14. Job: part-time at a surf shop

15. Song: "Before I Die"-Papa Roach



 

 

 

 

Lexie Vega

 

 

 

 

 

 1. Name: Lexie Vega

  2. Age: 17

  3. Hair: Brown

  4. Eyes: Blue

  5. Build: Curvy

  6. Height: 5'6

  7. Personality: vicious, aggressive, smart, brutal

  8. Likes: hurting those who intimidate her

  9. Dislikes: being challenged

10. Music: pop, hip hop

11. Movies: anything with Justin Timberlake or a hot guy

12. Actress whom my character resembles: Jessica Szohr

13. Clothes: anything tight, skinny jeans, tiny tops

14. Job: helps her father file at his office

15. Song: "Tempest"-Deftones

Just keep on typing...

About six years ago I was working at a Health Insurance Company. I won't name names....hehehhe. Even if it would be fun to. I won't because of things like taking the higher road, and turning the other cheek. There's too much else I need to do than to waste time on the past.

I was miserable in my job. Hated a few of my co-workers (one in particular) my God did she get my blood to boil. But while I hated said job, and said bitch, I used my free time to daydream. I'm sure I've mentioned before how I would write down ideas for books, something I knew I wanted to do since high school. I always have more ideas then time to write them, and that is a good thing. God forbid the well run dry.

The point.....I had one somewhere and not just on top of my head. I guess the point is we make goals for ourselves and never know if we'll make them. Six years ago I decided I wanted to write. I only told a few people. My grandpa who believed, my sister who also encouraged me, and an ex-friend with benefits. They were the only people who I told in the beginning. The ex-f.w.b. (you know who you are Skippy) didn't believe.

It hurt pretty badly when he told me it was a nice hobby, but who was I kidding. I kept my bad job until my grandfathers health problems got so severe me and said job split ways, along with ex-f.w.b. some months earlier.

Point: I wanted to be published by the time I was thirty. My thirtieth birthday is in four days. In four days my deadline hits and I have not only one book out, but two. Neither one are best sellers or in huge demand, but I did it. I met my goal.

As my birthday draws nearer I realize how much I've lost and gained in the last six years. A job, an apartment, a few friends. Both my grandparents have left this world. Only one saw me reach my goal. God was she proud. Uncle Arley, she'd say, Uncle Arley always wanted someone in the family to write a book. I was the lucky one if we're being optimistic.

Writing has taken over my life.

I live and breathe it. I wake up thinking about it, dream about it. Writing is the lover that I can't have, the one you obsess about in a truly unhealthy manner. I love writing, I think to myself, I can't wait to see him again. Snort.

It always makes me think of ex-f.w.b. Of his harsh disbelief, and I want to send him my books in the mail so badly I can't stand it. I know where he is, probably has the same number. Not in a stalker way thank you, but because he was like that...the same.

I've written two books, had my second child, lost the two most wonderful people in my world, and their loss...outshines the success of meeting my goal. My grandfather never got to hold the book in his hands, and it breaks my heart. My grandma never got to see my first tiny check. I hate that life gives you what you asked for, but takes a little at the same time.

I need to make some new goals now. Maybe ten books by the time I'm thirty five, have one be published by a big house publisher, wouldn't that be neat! Buy a house, have a wedding, and get over the death of my grandmother. The last of which seems impossible, I see her everywhere, have to remind myself I can't pick up the phone and call her, or just stop by.

So I'll just keep on typing, keep having an affair with this flirty lover I call writing. He's pretty hot stuff.

Jealous?

You shouldn't be, writing is a whore, he isn't at all loyal. I see people talking about him all the time, but I can't complain. I'd choose writing as a lover over a living and breathing man any day!!!

(DISCLOSURE: I in no way would ever EVER cheat on my honey with writing, even if writing has the nicest ass in the room hands down. I'm the loyal sort of girl. Not to be swayed by simple temptations!!!)

New Lilith Book Trailer/Meet the Characters of Lilith

Since I feel oh so inspired I thought I'd take some of that lovely creative energy and pour it into the new book. Lilith was written three years ago after I took my first little break from The Wild Hunt. The idea was to stretch my creative muscles and take a step back from the daunting task that was writing The Wild Hunt.

Lilith is about half the size of The Wild Hunt, and twice the size it was supposed to be. Like any project I take on it grew. The good part is that the story that came from it is really great, and I don't say that often about my own work. I wouldn't even say that about The Wild Hunt. TWH is more large and crazy than great. It was a vast undertaking of exponential proportions, a big bad bitch so to speak.

Lilith wasn't like that. Lilith was one of those stories I fell into and loved writing. It was exciting in a different way from TWH, which was probably what I needed. It's also a young adult. The only thing about writing Lilith that was hard was taking out the language, something I didn't have to worry about in TWH.

Long story short...above is the trailer. I think I'm getting better at making those too. I have a feeling Lilith will be a lot more popular that TWH because of its length, genre, and overall appeal. TWH is still my passion, but its a passion that is a lot of work. Lilith is just fun.



Patience (Pacey) O'Brien



  1. Name: Pacey O'Brien
  2. Age: 17
  3. Hair: Auburn/reddish brown
  4. Eyes: Purple/gray depending on her mood.
  5. Build: Peitite
  6. Height: 5'2
  7. Personality: Quiet, considerate, smart, sassy, short-tempered
  8. Likes: Dean, doing the right thing, family, truth.
  9. Dislikes: Lilith, liars, mean people, games.
10. Music: Rock, classic rock.
11. Movies: Anything horror.
12. Actress whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: Skinny jeans, chucks, bracelets, band tee.
14. Job: Unemployed. Highschool student
15. Song: "Heavy in your arms"---Florence + The Machine






                                Dean Charleston

 

 

 

  1. Name: Dean Charleston

  2. Age: 18

  3. Hair: Brown

  4. Eyes: Deep blue/green

  5. Build: Muscular/athletic

  6. Height: 6'1

  7. Personality: Ultimate Boy Scout, curteous, mannered, a little haunted.

  8. Likes: Pacey, beauty, taking care of people, being needed, puzzles.

  9. Dislikes: Ugly behavior, anyone threatening those he loves.

10. Music: Rock

11. Movies: Action, horror, comedy

12. Actor whom my character resembles:

13. Clothes: Jeans, t-shirt, boots.

14. Job: Unemployed

15. Song: "Chalk Outline"---Three Days Grace