Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Sprite Bottle:1 , Ashley :0

Like an idiot I decided to open a sprite bottle with a knife. It doesn't take a genius to realize that this was a bad idea....at the moment I wasn't exactly thinking clearly. It was one of those times where you see yourself doing something utterly stupid and yet, you are incapable of stopping your ridiculous actions. You are on the outside looking in. Cringing as the knife slips off the plastic.

Needless to say I cut myself....badly. And as my blood flew across the room and onto my freshly made ham sandwich I knew, that I Ashley, am indeed a moron.

The sprite bottle won this round. I could blame it on the cold, and the ninja grip that my honey used to tighten the little fucker, but the truth is I was just stupid.

Note to readers: do not try to open a bottle with a knife, it will not work, and you will in fact cut yourself.

Saturday, December 7, 2013


Yes, that is a word. Well in my dictionary anyways. Along with fugly, fubar, ri-donk-ulous, and many other ridiculous words. I use dork-tastic to describe myself. Recently, I have realized that I am terrible at first impressions, or adult conversations in general. I wonder how in the world I ever survived high-school. Back then I was a little bit better at faking it. It's not that I am shy or unconfident. I am just really bad at first impressions.

I don't know what to say, and what I do say comes out in a strange jumble of crazy. Afterwards, I run the words I've said through my mind and cringe. Why can't conversations be like writing. Where in the hell is the social backspace?

So this revelation makes me realize that things like book-signings, and tours in general are a very bad idea for me. I've had a couple local stores offer to carry my books or have a signing and I always decline. I want to be successful but the actual process of meeting my fans scares the ever living crap out of me.

I am a hermit.

I am way to okay with my hermitness. <---pretty sure that's another made up word.

So how does one survive this vial thing called being social? I wish I knew. When I was younger it was a whole lot easier. Now a majority of my days are filled with arguments with five year olds, reading, and falling into my writing. None of which are all that great for conversations with actual people.

In conclusion I just needed a little venting space. It's better to write it here than say it out loud anyways. At least here I have the backspace button.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Also I'm not dead....I promise (or in jail)

I recently got married. Actually, today is my one month anniversary. Why am I writing yet another blog you might ask, instead of celebrating said anniversary with my new husband? We may have been married for only a month, but our six year anniversary is in February...i.e. what's the big deal about a month when we've been together for half a decade. So yea, I'm back from the dead (wedding) and blogging. The last blog, Writers Anti-block I wrote ages ago I just forgot to publish it.

I blame the wedding, everything in my brain that worked remotely well before the wedding shut down while I was planning it. For two months I felt comatose and taken hostage by a wedding date. I will add that the wedding itself was absolutely perfect. Not one thing went wrong. My uncle who did the ceremony was amazing, the cupcakes were great, the food hot and yummy, alcohol a-plenty, and all my family and friends showed up (minus two or three who were legitimately out of the country, sick, or just unable to attend). The wedding was perfect.

Now after the haze has passed and I feel rejuvenated and not dead from the neck up, I have returned from the dead (wedding) ready to write. The blog (the personal and not the book) has suffered. The book one is always suffering. I hardly ever write it. It's just a more professional blog than this one where I frequently whine, cuss, am brass, obnoxious and probably make countless grammatical errors. Hence the reason this one is more fun...I can say FUCK, and not feel guilty! BOOM! Yes that is two completely capitalized words in a row. I just did that. That is why I will always rant here and not on the boring, ho hum overly professional book blog.

I just fell asleep typing that. It's that boring. Ugh, I should just delete it but I feel that if a person (literary agent, publisher, editor, reader, or my mom) were to Google my book and find the blogs, that they would read that one first in the hopes that I appear to be an adult and not a fourteen year old brat girl trapped in a thirty-something body.

Also the jail reference is rather funny. Yesterday the honey (who is still breathing) stole my iPhone. I am pretty sure that in itself is reason enough for divorce, separation, and maybe even death or dismemberment. He stole said phone while I was asleep under the surmise that he had in fact told me while I was drooling on my pillow. Can anyone else spell Asshole, I can, and did upon finding my phone gone. I was in a murderous rage. See the worst part isn't that he took it, and didn't tell me. (To the Honey: telling an unconscious person is not a conversation, just so you know.) It's that I looked, and looked, and looked for my iPhone for hours before I figured out what had happened.

In a blur of cuss words and fantasies of dismemberment, I wrote a Facebook status that went something like:

Walter took my cellphone, I had no intention of going to jail today........sigh.

Simple short, and a little sarcastic like me. Hehe see what I did there. Anyways so my good friend, and best friend, having no idea I was joking, (and they say they know me), commented in worry that I was actually incarcerated and not being ridiculous. I would not actually kill Walter (this is for you future FBI profiler, if anything ever happens to Walter I did not do it. I only joked about it, yes I know that is stupid, and juvenile, see the line above about my being a fourteen year old brat girl trapped in a thirty-something body. end quote).

So to end my rant on all things death and jail, that was my month. A wedding that didn't kill me, a missing iPhone, and a sarcastic not perfectly clear status update that proved yet again that texting and the internet still don't have a sarcasm font. Damn them.

Writers Anti-block

Writers block is an ugly thing. It can take all those wonderful words that have been running in your mind and make them disappear. A split second and months of carefully planned out dialogues and scenarios are gone.

I don't know if all writers do this, the planned scenarios bit, but from all the quotes I've seen on Pinterest about how writers never stop writing, I'd like to believe it's true. I'd like to think we are all these scary obsessive people that can't help but work constantly. It would make me feel a little better anyway. Especially when the honey, or the brats are trying to get my attention and I shush them because I'm busy thinking....thinking about writing...

The only things that I have found that can help with a block, other than a break from writing, is music and research.

Music can help get you in the mood, seriously, and not some cheesy, bow chica wow wow type of mood. But the mood you need to feel in order to get into that one characters head, or that one action sequence. Music helps.

Research, on the other hand, can inspire. Some of my best idea's and block wall climbers have come from research.

When I was working on the Wild Hunt, I went through ups and downs while writing it. I even took a six month long vacation 80,000 words into it. The one problem I kept coming across was the need for a myth. I wanted something substantial and real to back my characters. I knew I wanted Lorelei to see ghosts. I knew she'd experience a world of pain and loss that shaped the damaged individual she became. Knowing those things however, couldn't help me come up with a myth.

Sure, I could have just made something up, but how much cooler is it that I actually found one that fit the story I was trying to tell. Something that could explain her aversion for ties, labels, and restraints of any kind. An aversion that was actually something that gave her real power. A reason to explain her ability to see ghosts, and a tie to the supernatural world.

That's when I found the Cwn Annwn. They were a long awaited blessing in disguise. I had a friend ask me recently if what I wrote was all planned out. My answer, was ineloquent and choppy. Sometimes, but not really.

When I write I let myself imagine the characters in my head. I imagine them in certain scenarios and try to imagine again what they would do, and say while in those scenarios. I think about where I want the story to go and what could happen to get me there.

I swear a majority of what I do is all about the what could happen. The ability to imagine a thousand different scenarios. So when I say that I have anti writers block ideas, what I mean is I have ideas that will help you get writing.

These are not scientific fixes. These are just things that work for me. At the moment I jumped ahead while writing The Otherside, because I was having a hard time moving the story forward, that means I need to get back to the drawing board, and come up with ideas.

Move the story forward.

Sometimes you get lucky, and your characters surprise you. Sometimes you do a mountain of research while listening to Ben Howard's Black Files over, and over again, praying for that one great break, that moment of inspiration.

So turn on your Spotify, and fire up your Google search. Those are by far the two best helpers for writers block that I know.
Ben Howard-"Further Away"

"And nobody gives a fuck about you, tell you its a damn shame, prettiest eyes in the whole world, the same fool in the same game."
"You've been growing up, you've been growing on
Further away, further away."

Monday, September 23, 2013

Writing fear

I've been trying to work on The Otherside, and as all fellow writers know, trying doesn't always work. I have a feeling this next novel is going to take a long time to finish. Even if it took half as long as The Wild Hunt to write, that's still two years. I hope my readers will understand. I don't think it will take two years, but, we are approaching the one year anniversary for The Wild Hunt. So that means I've been working (or not) on The Otherside for at least eight months.

I took a much needed break after publishing The Wild Hunt. My grandma had just passed away, and I was emotionally and intellectually drained. After that first three months I jumped into finishing Lilith, a month later it was done, and a few weeks later it was published.

After I finished Lilith I played with The Otherside. I say play instead of write because I didn't get very much down, maybe a few thousand words, not even enough for a chapter. I just couldn't seem to get into the groove. The Otherside was this towering intimidating book. It scared the hell out of me.

I was terrified I'd destroy the world I'd worked so hard to build. I didn't want to screw it up. So I turned to Scent Hound. Scent Hound was a nice short novella that could bridge out the world I'd started developing in The Wild Hunt. I wanted to write about a Cwn Annwn female. It was fun. More fun then I ever thought possible. I finished it in a matter of months and it was published in July.

This is where the waters get murky. With no other projects to distract me, it was time to really sit down and figure out what to do about The Otherside. It wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted the story to be about. I had dozens of idea's and scenarios to move the story along. It was just that the careful balance of emotions in The Otherside were so much harder to portray.

The Otherside is about what happens after a revelation. After the world opens up and you realize that anything is possible. That huge massive world is intimidating. How do you describe it accurately? How do you show how small and frightened a character feels? How do you alienate them from everyone around them because of that fear?

The Otherside is all about transformations. Becoming who you are meant to be as opposed to who you want to be. Embracing your flaws, and finding that niche where you are your best self. The Otherside is full of the painful process of growing up, and finding that the people around you drift further away as you move closer towards yourself.

Currently, I am only about 25,000 words into the book. That's a fifth of the way done. Not bad, but not great either. I still think the hardest part is expressing that feeling of unknown. The Wild Hunt was all about self-loathing and loss. It was practically marinated in sorrow. The Otherside while hopeful is scattered and uneasy, like a new baby foal. I hope to God I get the feelings right, set the right tone. That's probably one of the hardest parts about writing.

How do you make people feel that scattered sense of confusion?

I'll keep working on it.

And hopefully in a year or less I'll have 125,000 words to share with you.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


I wish that I could find a more profane word (ugly cuss word) to rhyme with wedding, but I've got nothing. Right now as the date draws near, I find myself, more and more annoyed with the details. It's a life sucking black hole. It is taking my time, and creativity, and all I want to do is write.

I want to write so badly its killing me, but until the swedding is over I'm stuck, waiting, counting down the days until its over. Don't get me wrong I love my honey, but, holy crap does wedding planning suck. It's like my crazy past Halloween parties on crack. It's way more complicated.

So I'll just feel sorry for myself, and work my poor little fingers to death, on annoying subjects like favor making, and bows, and pray this is all over soon.

Note to readers: Eloping, is a very nice idea, I highly suggest it.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Blog Reviews!!!

A friend of a friend put me together with Blog Friendly PR. Basically the PR rep Nina Say, set up a bunch of bloggers who were interested in reading my books, and I sent them all a copy to read and review. So far, I've found only a few of the reviews, but each one is different and very helpful.

The thing I've found that almost all are saying, and breaks my heart, is that there are grammatical errors a plenty. Of course I knew this, I'm a self-published author, unless you have a couple grand to spend on an editor, editing yourself, and having friends help is the only option.

Sadly this option leaves for many mistakes. I apologize to the bloggers that took the time out of their lives to read my messy stories.

Now for the good part. Everyone had nice things to say regardless of the grammatical errors. They enjoyed the stories, and the mythology. (I heart mythology) Needless to say they are all sweet little fairies of information. I'm so glad Nina helped me reach them, and I'm so glad to read their words. I really hope that time, and experience will fix the problems with my errors. Maybe an editor guardian angel will swoop in and offer to clean them up for free. I won't hold my breath though!

An extra set of eyes is always a good thing. I can't say enough good stuff about this experience and I don't even have all of the reviews yet!!!

Here is a list of what I've found so far.

For The Wild Hunt:




and http://indiefantasy.com/the-wild-hunt-by-ashley-jeffery/
which was one of the first and not related to Blog Friendly PR.

For Lilith:



http://thismuseistaken.com/lilith-book-review-giveaway/#.Ug7hlEnn85s  <----My favorite so far!!!


Again I want to thank the Bloggers. I know how hard it is to set aside time to read, and to give it to Self-published writers is even harder. You never know what you're going to get when you crack open that book.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Scent Hound Book Trailer

Usually I make these things before a book release. Usually....for some reason on top of my formatting problems, My Movie was giving me hell as well. Every time I tried to open the file and make changes, move text boxes etc. My Movie would freeze and then shut down.....without saving my changes.

So in an attempt to adapt to my pain in the ass book trailer making software I started saving after every change, and I do mean EVERY. CHANGE.

About every ten seconds I hit the save button. It took forever but eventually it got done. I'm nothing if not adaptable. So screw you My Movie I won.....haha. No amount of annoying freezing was going to hold me back. And in the words of someone far smarter and more eloquent, Adapt or Die.

So without tooting my own horn anymore and becoming increasingly obnoxious here is the book trailer for Scent Hound.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Scent Hound Giveaway!!!!!!!


Above is the link to the giveaway, but I thought I'd post what you'll be getting if by chance you enter and win.

1 Signed copy of The Wild Hunt

1 Signed copy of Lilith

1 Signed copy of Scent Hound

1 Be Fearless Tagged Necklace

Ultimate Prize, signed copies of The Wild Hunt, Lilith and Scent Hound with a Wild Hunt inspired Living Locket!!!!

It will be filled with lots of things that remind me of Lo, and The Wild Hunt, ghost, motorcycle, paw print, crystals, etc.

Don't forget to enter!!!!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013


I am so ready to not self-publish.

The reason I feel this way, is because all day I dreaded the ugly task of formatting my book for ebook. This shouldn't be so hard now that I've done it three times, but for some reason today it gave me hell.

Createspace the lovely website I use for my paperback copies was supposed, and I use that word in a dripping with venom and as sarcastic a way as possible, supposed to have a formatted copy available after I published in print. This worked fine after Lilith for some reason unbeknownst to me the author, but for Scent Hound, no no no no way was that going to happen.

I pushed that fancy little button and saved that nifty little file. Uploaded to kindle direct publishing and..........bam, utter and complete shit.

It was unreadable, awful, just NO!

I know that I am a really picky over the top perfectionist. I know because hello I live with myself and I actually do not live in denial.

I am a perfectionist and I am SO not perfect.

There I admit it.

But oh my God am I sick of freaking formatting. It was awful, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. The image wouldn't load, the file itself wouldn't. I couldn't get that stupid button to upload a file on kdp to even work.


Today was not the day for formatting. After hours of refreshing Internet pages, and re saving, reformatting, and reloading, I am done....for now.

Who knows what the hell else will go wrong.

I hate you formatting you are a cruel cruel bitch. I hope you step on a lego!

End of Rant.

PS: Scent Hound is now available on Amazon and Smashwords, I should be happier about that little nugget of wonderfulness but alas I am not, I was raped by formatting today, so I'm a little messed up and pre-PTSD-ee. I know I will be fine, there are support groups out there for these kind of things. But don't be surprised if I get arrested for putting a bullet through ugly formattings head. The bitch has it coming.........I'm just sayin'.



PPS: I am in no way crazy enough to believe that formatting actually exists, but as I said before if she did she would definitely be a chic. A PMS, Midol popping, life ruining bitch. Again....just sayin'

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Natural Highs

There are lots of things out there that give you natural highs...laughing, sex, a great book, or a good movie. I myself have found that the best natural high is the one I get after I finish a story. There is something awesome and indescribable about the way it feels, a numb intoxicating blanket that settles over your body and senses. That feeling you get when you ride rollercoasters. It's just amazing. The reason for my most recent high is below.....

Scent Hound is done!!!

Available July 31st, 2013!!!!!

Monday, July 1, 2013

Character Profiles: Scent Hound


Arlington Loretta Dufrey

 1. Name: Arley
  2. Age: 30
  3. Hair: Brown
  4. Eyes: Blue
  5. Build: Thin/Petite
  6. Height: 5'1'
  7. Personality: Harsh, passionate, contemplative
  8. Likes: Bourbon, BBQ, her mama's home cooking, fast cars, honesty
  9. Dislikes: Liars, prejudice, weak lazy people, old laws and men too scared to change them.
10. Music: Country, blues, folk
11. Movies: Who has the time?
12. Actor whom my character resembles:  Evangeline Lilly
13. Clothes: Jeans t-shirts, cowboy boots
14. Job: Private Investigator, scent hound
15. Song: "Kiss Me"---Ed Sheeran
Raylan Davenport-Crawford

1. Name: Raylan
  2. Age: 31
  3. Hair: Brown
  4. Eyes: Brown
  5. Build: Muscular/athletic
  6. Height 6'0'
  7. Personality: Smart, ruthless, demanding, aggressive
  8. Likes: Arley, puzzles, the chase.
  9. Dislikes: Drama, anything too easy
10. Music: Rock, Country
11. Movies: Anything with action or a mystery
12. Actor whom my character resembles: Theo James
13. Clothes: Jeans t-shirts, shit kickers
14. Job: Private Investigator, beta for the Alabama pack
15. Song: "Hold On"---Alabama Shakes


Peter Reginald Bartholomew Prather III


  1. Name: Peter
  2. Age: 31
  3. Hair: Blonde
  4. Eyes: Blue
  5. Build: Muscular/athletic
  6. Height 6'2'
  7. Personality: Reserved, strong, poised, well-mannered.
  8. Likes: Precision, order, rules
  9. Dislikes: Chaos, messes, rudeness
10. Music: Classical, country, folk, acoustic
11. Movies: Can't sit still long enough to watch one.
12. Actor whom my character resembles: Trevor Donovan
13. Clothes: Suits, ties, business attire, always designer.
14. Job: Family money, investments, alpha of Alabama pack
15. Song: "No Moon"---Iron and Wine

Not exactly newbies, but they are in Scent Hound.

Agent Shawn Greene
 1. Name: Shawn Greene
  2. Age: 23
  3. Hair: Black
  4. Eyes: Hazy Blue
  5. Build: Tall and Slim
  6. Height: 6'1'
  7. Personality: Reserved, professional, follows decorum.
  8. Likes: SOP's, helping people.
  9. Dislikes: People who break the rules.
10. Music: Rap, rock, pop.
11. Movies: The Bourne Trilogy.
12. Actor whom my character resembles: Andrew Garfield
13. Clothes: Suit......always......(probably showers in one)
14. Job: Special Agent of Investigations.
15. Song: "Secret Agent Man"-Johnny Rivers

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Scent Hound: Sneak Peak at Chapter One

My latest project Scent Hound, is basically a Novella, that bridges the gap between The Wild Hunt and The Otherside. Why I didn't combine it with The Otherside is because its told from a different and new characters prospective.

Arley Dufrey is a scent hound and a shifting female Cwn Annwn. Being a shifting female is rare enough, but her abilities make her even more so. She is a powerful hound. A force of nature with a gentle upbringing, and a bad mouth. She likes BBQ and bourbon, her step dads Charger, and knows how to throw a punch.

Scent Hound is about half finished. Hopefully within the next month it will be done. What I like the most about this book is her ability, and being able to tell a story from a shifters perspective. She isn't on the outside looking in like Pacey, she isn't even finally aware of what she is like Lo. Arley has been raised around hounds and bites. Her world is a huge leap inside the inner workings of the Otherside creatures.

As a nice little treat I decided I'd share a bit more of Scent Hound, here's the first few pages of chapter one.

Scent Hound
By Ashley Jeffery
A Wild Hunt Novella
Chapter One
Ever wish that your ex would just drop dead? I know I’m not the only girl that’s had that fantasy. Over the years, I’ve seen plenty of failed relationships result in deathful thinking. They say if only they’d known, or if only they’d pressed down the pillow, or shoved them down the stairs…
I don’t believe in murder, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing for a freak accident or two. A piano falling on top of his too attractive head or a car crash caused by a banana peel, cartoonish in nature but I always take it back in the end. I send too many souls of the dead to The Otherside to wish that on anyone.
I’ve never been to the Otherside, but I wonder, as I sing their souls away, as I howl for the dead’s release from the mortal side of the world. What’s it really like to die? Is the Otherside the paradise the descendants of the Cwn Annwn believe, or is it hell, a prison cell you’re stuck in forever?
Death aside, I can’t help but wish that my ex would disappear. Most girls end a relationship and never have to see the lousy son of a bitch again. The city swallows them up and like that, a snap of the fingers, they’re gone.
As I stare into his familiar pale brown eyes, I can’t help but wish that I were that lucky. He’s the reason I no longer date fellow hounds, because even in a city the size of Montgomery, hounds are few and far between. Every pack meeting, night run, and soul singing makes anonymity impossible.
“Hey Arles.” Raylan’s deep southern voice drawls.
I ignore the tingling that settles in my stomach. We haven’t been together for years and he still affects me. My heart and brain know he’s my ex, but my body still betrays me. His touch is burned into the memory of my skin cells. It doesn’t help that he’s damned good looking. Corded arms and lean muscles, he has one of those bodies meant for water. Despite all the pretty trimmings, he’s still an asshole, a cheating asshole to be specific.
“Lanie.” I say in my most contemptuous voice.
He reddens but slips beside me, his hand inches from the slight curve where my back meets my butt. He can’t help but lead me forward across the wooden floor, unable to suppress those southern manners even when it’s not necessary.
Too bad those manners didn’t help him keep his pants on. The truth is I could grab that hand and flip him onto his back in no time at all. Being a licensed P.I. requires more than just a piece of paper. I shoot once a week at the local range, and practice self-defense and boxing as often as possible.
“How’s the business?” He asks.
I swallow down my annoyance. He outbid me on my last job, taking him from a regular annoying ex to competitor and job stealer.
“Great.” I lie, the truth is that job was the first bid I had all month. I needed the work badly and he knows it.
“You know.” He says shifting closer so he can whisper. “I could always use your nose around here; The Firm is always looking for new trainees.” Trainee is a nice way of saying bitch.
I swallow down my sigh and ignore him. I can smell his anxiety. Yes, he’s gloating, and fishing for a reaction, but underneath that conceit and ass-holery, is the rosy sweet smell of desperation. I’m not sure if it’s my nose he misses or me. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s probably a combination, but Raylan cheated, end of story.
“I’m good.” I say.
He nods and opens the darkly stained wooden door. I can hear the laughter die down as they see me approaching. Eleven pairs of eyes swing my way. I’m the only female in my pack of thirteen. The only shifting female in three states actually, shifting female Cwn Annwn are rare. A daughter born to two hounds is nine times out of ten only human. She can birth hound males if she breeds with another hound, but for some reason, actually shifting, or having gifts is a rarity.
That makes me a hot commodity, it also makes them hate me. Especially one male in particular, Doyle Thomas is over twice my age but half as intelligent. He can smell lies like bites, and the occasional emotion. But my ability is something he and every man in the room would kill to have.
Hounds are behind the times when it comes to sexual equality; their pack mentality makes it even worse. Women are to be protected, and cherished. They are to breed more pups and wash dishes. My place in the pack is far beneath that of an omega. I am the unwanted, the unneeded, and the mutual wish that I’d get the hell out of here.
A sour lemony scent assaults my nose. I push down the urge to gag and step forward, conscious of the whispers, and the warm hand that never once moves forward to make contact with my body. Every one of my skin cells is concentrating on that almost touch. Part of me wants to stop dead just to feel the warm impact of his hand through my shirt. Would it feel the same, my body sings, or is the heat and sizzle just a twisted memory?

“Arley, it’s good to see you again.” Peter says the words but his pale green eyes are on Raylan. The smell of his lie is so strong I can taste its coppery flavor on my tongue.
“Peter.” I say with a nod.
The seven men including my ex ignore me and take their seats around the room. Peter moves forward towards the podium. His tall body towers over us, thick shoulders meet a slender waist. He’s always in a business suit, silk ties, and a platinum Rolex, my mother would say he smells like old money. She doesn’t know how right she is, old money, has a particular smell, just like everything else.
I settle in a leather wing backed chair. The room is overtly masculine; maps of the city and state cover one wall. A dry erase board lists the rogues in the area, the ones under close watch. A different more permanent list is attached to a black board.
Besides each name are pictures and addresses, including lists of employment and other information. At the top of the black board is the word mutt, it’s a derogatory term for another type of shifter most commonly called bites. They are more like the werewolves of modern folklore than we are.
Infected by bite or blood, hence the name, a human transforms into a monster. They aren't swayable by the moon, but change whenever they want, or whenever they are emotionally unstable. This makes them a risk to creatures of my kind. They are our enemies by nature, but I have a few I call family and friends, and this puts an even larger distance between the pack and me.
“Some of you have heard that a new othersider is among us. I am here to put those rumors to rest. This morning I got a call from one of the western pack betas. Some of you no doubt remember Sutter, some of you.” Peter stalls to meet my eyes. “Are even related.” I roll my own. Sutter is my half-brother; we share the same deadbeat father. He’s not the only one out there either. My lovely dad has a dozen fatherless children all across the South.
If Sutter were any other hound, he might have ended up in my mom’s home for wayward cousins. My mom has taken in quite a few cousins over the years. Cousin is just her easy way of explaining away random troubled children. Almost all of them are hounds suffering from broken homes or problems. My step dad, a bite, helps them learn to control themselves. Our house is a sort of halfway home for the second natured.


Monday, May 6, 2013


The last time I took a few months off I came back to writing refreshed. I wrote over 50,000 words and finished The Wild Hunt. This time around though, I'm afraid that that flash of inspiration is not here. Things are different, different house, car, grandma's gone. Life is always changing, does that mean as a writer I do as well?

I'm not sure what the answers are for me. I'm jumping in, but its scary, I've got to make this book better, more, and I want to do it in a fraction of the time. I think I should probably remove the restraints of deadlines and time tables, but it doesn't even ease the pressure a tiny bit. This has to be perfect it has to work.

Queue the insane pressure....

Now what? I'll open my notebooks and scribble down ideas, piece it together on paper and in my head and hope the block goes away, hope that inspiration strikes and I find my flow again. Words like water, my fingers the rocks it moves upon. Write damn it, all I need to do is write.

If only it were that easy.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


There aren't many things in this life that makes me worry what others think. I don't care about the latest fashions and what's popular on the radio....I buy what I like and listen to what pleases me. Mostly, if lots of people like something I tend not to like it for that reason alone. The radio in my car is always tuned to my iPod (Ben Howard). My mom has always said that I walk to the beat of my own drum. I am not a follower but a loner lost in a world of my own overactive mind.

So it may come as a surprise that I don't like letting people down. If I make a promise or agree to do something I try like hell to follow through. I'm not talking about trivial things like going for coffee or calling. I'm talking about things like babysitting, remodeling my moms house, being a better mother. I make promises to myself all the time, yell less listen more, breathe, count to three, watch the cussing. This post is strangely cuss free go figure. The point is something, maybe a childhood lesson in church, a big talk on integrity, a remembered class about morals and values, all of these things attack me when I don't follow through.

Right now I'm far behind a deadline (again) it may only be a personal one, but it is just as important as the ones I make to other people. So as my deadline gets further and further behind me, and my fingers continue to sit limp and unused at my sides I realize my outside promises are interfering with my inside ones. The goals I've set for myself as a person are falling aside to be trampled over by someone else's responsibility, by someone else's needs.

This bothers me for two reasons:

one: I am and will forever be a creature of habit and self reflection, I will always seek the comfort of my own inner voice above another persons. I am very okay with being alone (even though I'm not) its that whole loner thing. When my ID, or EGO or whatever the damn psychological name is isn't satisfied I sort of lash out verbally, I become a grump. My patience evaporates and I'm left very unhappy.

two: It was a promise or agreement that I made that was "supposed to" expire over three weeks ago. Said agreement isn't important, because in the end the choice is up to me, do I finish at the peril of my ID and writing, or do I cut my losses say sorry and move on. It isn't my responsibility as the allotted agreed time has exceeded exponentially. As a grown up I feel guilty, but as a writer and self employed one at that, I feel used. I feel taken advantage of.

So do I fall prey to my fear of being a flake or irresponsible, which responsibilities are more important, my job, paying or not, or free daycare for another person??

I don't want to judge or point fingers, but when is enough enough?

When can I say no and not feel guilty....probably never, but if I won't fight for me and my writing, no one will. I have to take a stand and say NO and own it.


My writing is just as important as your day job.

My writing is NOT just a hobby, it is my career, my savings grace, my passion in this life.

If I hear one more person tell me I don't have a real job (especially a mouthy five year old that doesn't belong to me) I will snap!!

I am a writer.

I am damn good at it too even if I occasionally suck (snark snark, no ones perfect.)

This is my job, and I need to be getting on with it. So goodbye other pervious agreed to persons problem, hello The Otherside, Scent Hound, Demon Unleashed, and whatever crazy ass projects I wanted to finish this year. Here's to publishing another book in 2013!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Broken Keys

I recently purchased a new fancy laptop, and while new said laptop is rather awesome, there is something about it that leaves me...sad.

No longer do I have to use the right shift key only because the left is broken.

No longer do I have to press down rubber stumps instead of keys.

Alas I have real computer keys pristine and unmarked by use...and yet I miss the broken laptop.

We went through a lot that computer and I...two books, a move, countless projects, and one unrecoverable loss.

Is it strange that I miss my old laptop as I write this, maybe, but knowing myself probably not.

I once cried for two hours when my youngest son broke a blue mason jar my recently departed grandma had given me. I've learned that lately I hate all changes that she isn't here to see. I hate the holidays she isn't present for, the crazy things my kids do that I can't talk to her about. I miss that safe haven I had knowing she was alive and well in the world. I miss my grandma, I miss her friendship and guidance, but most of all I miss her voice. I find myself playing it over and over again in the hopes that I won't forget.

All of this boils down to one thing....I hate change, even the good kind. Change is an all too painful reminder that life goes on after those we love have left it. Life goes on. I guess I should be getting on with mine.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Giveaway/Character Profiles

Goodreads is hosting a giveaway of Lilith: Part 1.


1. Name: Lilith
  2. Age: ageless
  3. Hair: pale blonde
  4. Eyes: dark brown/black
  5. Build: curvaceous
  6. Height: 5'7
  7. Personality: evil, crazy, psycho
  8. Likes: games, descendants of Adam
  9. Dislikes: anything standing in her way
10. Music: a little bit of everything
11. Movies: Anything horror. dark comedies
12. Actress whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: something revealing, sheer, expensive
14. Job: mother of monsters, wreaking havoc
15. Song: "Your Betrayal"-Bullet for my Valentine

  1. Name: Rhiannon
  2. Age: 17
  3. Hair: dirty blonde
  4. Eyes: blue
  5. Build: athletic
  6. Height: 5'8
  7. Personality: brass, sarcastic,
  8. Likes: planning Lexie's annihilation
  9. Dislikes: Lexie
10. Music: rock, pop
11. Movies: comedies
12. Actress whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: black, tough girl, anything from hot topics
14. Job: unemployed
15. Song: "Rosemary"-Deftones
  1. Name: Weston (Wes)
  2. Age: 19
  3. Hair: Brown
  4. Eyes: Brown
  5. Build: Athletic
  6. Height: 6'0
  7. Personality: jokester, funny, helpful,  
  8. Likes: Helping friends, Rhi, adventure, college
  9. Dislikes: idiots, bullies,
10. Music: rock, alternative
11. Movies: comedies, historical
12. Actress whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: jeans, polo, DC's
14. Job: part-time at a surf shop
15. Song: "Before I Die"-Papa Roach

Lexie Vega
 1. Name: Lexie Vega
  2. Age: 17
  3. Hair: Brown
  4. Eyes: Blue
  5. Build: Curvy
  6. Height: 5'6
  7. Personality: vicious, aggressive, smart, brutal
  8. Likes: hurting those who intimidate her
  9. Dislikes: being challenged
10. Music: pop, hip hop
11. Movies: anything with Justin Timberlake or a hot guy
12. Actress whom my character resembles: Jessica Szohr
13. Clothes: anything tight, skinny jeans, tiny tops
14. Job: helps her father file at his office
15. Song: "Tempest"-Deftones

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Just keep on typing...

About six years ago I was working at a Health Insurance Company. I won't name names....hehehhe. Even if it would be fun to. I won't because of things like taking the higher road, and turning the other cheek. There's too much else I need to do than to waste time on the past.

I was miserable in my job. Hated a few of my co-workers (one in particular) my God did she get my blood to boil. But while I hated said job, and said bitch, I used my free time to daydream. I'm sure I've mentioned before how I would write down ideas for books, something I knew I wanted to do since high school. I always have more ideas then time to write them, and that is a good thing. God forbid the well run dry.

The point.....I had one somewhere and not just on top of my head. I guess the point is we make goals for ourselves and never know if we'll make them. Six years ago I decided I wanted to write. I only told a few people. My grandpa who believed, my sister who also encouraged me, and an ex-friend with benefits. They were the only people who I told in the beginning. The ex-f.w.b. (you know who you are Skippy) didn't believe.

It hurt pretty badly when he told me it was a nice hobby, but who was I kidding. I kept my bad job until my grandfathers health problems got so severe me and said job split ways, along with ex-f.w.b. some months earlier.

Point: I wanted to be published by the time I was thirty. My thirtieth birthday is in four days. In four days my deadline hits and I have not only one book out, but two. Neither one are best sellers or in huge demand, but I did it. I met my goal.

As my birthday draws nearer I realize how much I've lost and gained in the last six years. A job, an apartment, a few friends. Both my grandparents have left this world. Only one saw me reach my goal. God was she proud. Uncle Arley, she'd say, Uncle Arley always wanted someone in the family to write a book. I was the lucky one if we're being optimistic.

Writing has taken over my life.

I live and breathe it. I wake up thinking about it, dream about it. Writing is the lover that I can't have, the one you obsess about in a truly unhealthy manner. I love writing, I think to myself, I can't wait to see him again. Snort.

It always makes me think of ex-f.w.b. Of his harsh disbelief, and I want to send him my books in the mail so badly I can't stand it. I know where he is, probably has the same number. Not in a stalker way thank you, but because he was like that...the same.

I've written two books, had my second child, lost the two most wonderful people in my world, and their loss...outshines the success of meeting my goal. My grandfather never got to hold the book in his hands, and it breaks my heart. My grandma never got to see my first tiny check. I hate that life gives you what you asked for, but takes a little at the same time.

I need to make some new goals now. Maybe ten books by the time I'm thirty five, have one be published by a big house publisher, wouldn't that be neat! Buy a house, have a wedding, and get over the death of my grandmother. The last of which seems impossible, I see her everywhere, have to remind myself I can't pick up the phone and call her, or just stop by.

So I'll just keep on typing, keep having an affair with this flirty lover I call writing. He's pretty hot stuff.


You shouldn't be, writing is a whore, he isn't at all loyal. I see people talking about him all the time, but I can't complain. I'd choose writing as a lover over a living and breathing man any day!!!

(DISCLOSURE: I in no way would ever EVER cheat on my honey with writing, even if writing has the nicest ass in the room hands down. I'm the loyal sort of girl. Not to be swayed by simple temptations!!!)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

New Lilith Book Trailer/Meet the Characters of Lilith

Since I feel oh so inspired I thought I'd take some of that lovely creative energy and pour it into the new book. Lilith was written three years ago after I took my first little break from The Wild Hunt. The idea was to stretch my creative muscles and take a step back from the daunting task that was writing The Wild Hunt.

Lilith is about half the size of The Wild Hunt, and twice the size it was supposed to be. Like any project I take on it grew. The good part is that the story that came from it is really great, and I don't say that often about my own work. I wouldn't even say that about The Wild Hunt. TWH is more large and crazy than great. It was a vast undertaking of exponential proportions, a big bad bitch so to speak.

Lilith wasn't like that. Lilith was one of those stories I fell into and loved writing. It was exciting in a different way from TWH, which was probably what I needed. It's also a young adult. The only thing about writing Lilith that was hard was taking out the language, something I didn't have to worry about in TWH.

Long story short...above is the trailer. I think I'm getting better at making those too. I have a feeling Lilith will be a lot more popular that TWH because of its length, genre, and overall appeal. TWH is still my passion, but its a passion that is a lot of work. Lilith is just fun.

Patience (Pacey) O'Brien

  1. Name: Pacey O'Brien
  2. Age: 17
  3. Hair: Auburn/reddish brown
  4. Eyes: Purple/gray depending on her mood.
  5. Build: Peitite
  6. Height: 5'2
  7. Personality: Quiet, considerate, smart, sassy, short-tempered
  8. Likes: Dean, doing the right thing, family, truth.
  9. Dislikes: Lilith, liars, mean people, games.
10. Music: Rock, classic rock.
11. Movies: Anything horror.
12. Actress whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: Skinny jeans, chucks, bracelets, band tee.
14. Job: Unemployed. Highschool student
15. Song: "Heavy in your arms"---Florence + The Machine

                                Dean Charleston
  1. Name: Dean Charleston
  2. Age: 18
  3. Hair: Brown
  4. Eyes: Deep blue/green
  5. Build: Muscular/athletic
  6. Height: 6'1
  7. Personality: Ultimate Boy Scout, curteous, mannered, a little haunted.
  8. Likes: Pacey, beauty, taking care of people, being needed, puzzles.
  9. Dislikes: Ugly behavior, anyone threatening those he loves.
10. Music: Rock
11. Movies: Action, horror, comedy
12. Actor whom my character resembles:
13. Clothes: Jeans, t-shirt, boots.
14. Job: Unemployed
15. Song: "Chalk Outline"---Three Days Grace

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Character Profiles: Nikki Reynolds and Travis Kennedy

Nikolette Reynolds

1. Name: Nikki Reynolds
2. Age: 23
3. Hair: Short blond bob
4. Eyes: Brown
5. Build: Thin/Petite
6. Height: 5'2'
7. Personality: Sweet natured, a little naive, tough when needed.
8. Likes: Gossip, parties, fun, Travis
9. Dislikes: Conflict, problems, drama.
10. Music: Country Taylor Swift, Colbie Calliat rock.
11. Movies: 80's films
12. Actress whom my character resembles: Carey Mulligan
13. Clothes: Jeans, cute top, skirts on occasion.
14. Job: Waitress at Lyles, Clerk at Wicks, Sticks, & Tricks
15. Song: "I've Got This Friend" The Civil Wars

"I've Got This Friend" by The Civil Wars

Nikki's Words
“Nothing at all.” I said.
“Huh, that’s weird.” She said.
“Why is that weird?”
“The Lo I know wouldn’t just take some guy home and not do anything at all with him. It’s just too normal too rated G.”
I snorted, great, even my closest friend thought I was a whore.
“Thanks.” I said.
“No I just mean have you ever done that before, ever?” Nikki said.
“See that says something, it’s your lack of not doing anything that makes me think something’s up. Usually you’d get what you want, and be done with him. You wouldn’t take care of him, and you sure as hell wouldn’t take him home with you.” Nikki said.
I smiled and held up the diary for Nikki to see.
“What’s that?”
“A journal from work.” I said. A devious grin tugged at my face.
“How’d you get it?”
I laughed. “It dropped out of the sky.”
“Did you steal it?” Nikki said.
“No.” I said.
“Then how’d you get it?” She said again.
“I told you, it dropped out of the sky.”
“Holy shit, you’ve finally lost it, I knew when you told me about those dreams you’d lost it. I can’t believe you stole from your new boss.”
I sighed. “Nikki.”
“No you can’t talk me out of it. The crazy always believe they are sane. It’s for your own good. You don’t want to end up wearing pajamas and bunny slippers every day and feeding all the local cats do you?” She said.
“Nikki I swear to God, I’m not turning into Old Lady Mercer.” I said.
Nikki snorted. “That’s what Old Lady Mercer says, before she goes bat-shit and starts throwing her garbage at the kids who walk by her house.”
“She’s a kleptomaniac. I just borrowed this.” I said.

Travis Kennedy

1. Name: Travis Kennedy
2. Age: 26
3. Hair: Blond
4. Eyes: Green
5. Build: Athletic
6. Height: 6'1'
7. Personality: Friendly, out-going, joker.
8. Likes: Beer and pizza, parties, playing on the lake.
9. Dislikes: Arrogance, drama.
10. Music: 90's rock, Nirvana, Sublime, Bob Marley
11. Movies: Comedy, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, American Pie, Hallpass, Hangover.
12. Actor whom my character resembles: Drew Van Acker
13. Clothes: Shorts, flip flops, tees. Laid back.
14. Job: Artist at Custom E Bikes.
15. Song: "Lithium" Nirvana

"Lithium" by Nirvana

Travis's Words

“Hi I’m Travis, you must be Lorelei.” He stuck out his hand and grasped mine. I felt a tingle of warmth move through my skin. He was like a warm blanket, his eyes and manner put you at ease. If I were a more open person, I would have told him my life story right there and then.
“Getting along well I see.” Travis’s voice was amused.
“Oh yea fantastically, why’d you bring him anyway?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Um…Nikki suggested it, but I’ll remember not to next time.” The smile had fallen from his face and I loosened my posture guiltily.
“Sorry, I just, he bugs me you know.” I said.
Travis’s smile returned.
“You have no idea. All I’ve listened to lately is Lo this, and Lo that. He won’t shut up about you. It’s pretty funny; I’ve never seen him this messed up over a girl.”
I bit my cheek to keep from smiling. Yes, Duncan annoyed me, because I didn’t know what to do with him, and he had this irritating way of breaking me down that drove me crazy.
“I find that hard to believe.” I said.
Travis shrugged and carried the tray of steaks towards the back door.
“You don’t have to but it’s the truth, there are plenty of girls in Concord that would kill to be you.” Travis stated.