I never thought that after four years of slaving away, of burying myself in a world I created, that I'd be numb to the fact that I'd actually published. WOW. Its strange how things change. I never thought the world would still be standing without my grandma in it. She was like the stars in the sky, there, even when you couldn't see her.
She has moved on to a different place. Somewhere without fear or pain, and that is good. What's left, the anger, the sadness, its overwhelming and all consuming. You never realize how much you love a person until they are gone.
I'm going to take a page from Lorelei's story and toughen up. People die, we're born into a world we know we won't always live in. Death is definite. We will all journey towards our end, on different time scales, most of us unaware of the ticking. It's the loss of a loved one that reminds us.
The book is out there. I'll post links, and probably try to keep up with it. But it's hard when I'm mourning my grandma, to care about anything that isn't at the bottom of a bottle, or the comfort of my couch. I'll be fine, but for a little while, I think, I'll take a break, and fall a little apart.
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